The short answer to that question is yes, the unknown can be a blessing. Although there are plenty of examples that may pop into your head to tell you otherwise, we could all do ourselves a favor by leaning in and allowing. I’ll explore the traps, the scary parts and the benefits of the unknown along with some ways to gently nudge you into opening and allowing.
Control is an elusive, false-sense of ensuring what is going to happen and how it is going to do so. There is a sense that if everything is planned out, you will know what is going to happen and there won’t be any surprises. The truth of the matter is that you really can’t control anything or anyone other than you and your choices. You can be the world’s most amazing planner and you still won’t have control over a situation. This isn’t saying that you can’t be organized, simply that you won’t be able to control the outcome. From my own experience, I find that the most challenging part is allowing the outcome to be what it will be. Expectations can emerge, making the entire situation trickier to recover from when the expectations and outcomes don’t agree.
Perfection is another hard to attain goal. Whose standard of perfection are you trying to achieve? Who is the judge of whether or not you reached perfection? It’s a trap that will keep you on the hamster wheel. There is no room for allowing the unknown if perfection is the standard. The gentler approach is to hold the intention of doing your best in any given moment. This allows for flexibility and fluidity in all that you do.
Another trap we set for ourselves is the safety of routine. If I do the same thing the same way every day, everything will be predictable and safe. To a certain extent, there may be truth in that. However, routine can numb us and allow mindless participation in life. Life is unpredictable. There are no guarantees. Isn’t it time to vary the routine even if it’s just a tiny tweak?
What makes the unknown so scary? Why is there such resistance to it?
Surrender. Trust. Vulnerability.
If your habit is to control, the concept of surrender is not likely on your radar. If your tendency leans towards perfection, trust will be the resistance. And if routine keeps you feeling safe, vulnerability will offer the challenge.
I have found that the word surrender, in and of itself, can create a restriction in both the mind and body. I often substitute the word allow because it doesn’t seem quite as ‘sacrificial’ as surrender. Regardless of the word you choose to connect to, the concept is the same. Be willing to allow life to happen. Open to what is in front of you as well as the possibilities that await. Release the need to control outcomes and experiences. Your daily experiences will be richer and more fulfilling when you get to be instead of do.
Trust that you are enough. Trust that you have the ability to respond appropriately in any given situation. Trust that you deserve joy in each moment. Trust that you are experiencing what you are capable of being with. Trust that you have the tools to handle whatever comes your way. Trust that you have the knowledge to facilitate any snags that come up along the way.
You don’t need to be perfect. Nobody is. You are more concerned about your own perfection than anybody else is. You are allowed missteps along the way. It’s ok to not know an answer. It’s ok to let others see you for who you are. It’s ok to do something different and receive the effect as feedback and not failure.
When you are not controlling situations or wrapped up in perfection, there is new found freedom in your world. You only have to be concerned about you. The mind experiences the freedom of not being stuck in outcomes or expectations and the body no longer feels the constriction of waiting and wondering how everything is going to turn out. Even in the highly sensitive area of health, allowing the unknown to exist offers a different space of mental peace. There can be freedom from the unending stream of ‘what if’s’, opening to answers or calm that are less available when a desire to control is triggered.
The unknown invites curiosity into your day, bringing in more child-like flexibility. There is room for exploration and imagination to live. Who knows what you might discover or what answer may all of a sudden come to you? Who knows which person you might meet that will offer insight unknowingly? There are endless possibilities for what you can discover when you give room to allow for the unknown. We don’t know what we don’t know. And how can we possibly know what we don’t know if we resist allowing it in?
Here are some ways to make space for the unknown in your life. Lean into what speaks to you the most and see what happens!
· Allow yourself to be imperfect
· Allow others to be responsible for themselves
· Allow ‘what if’ scenarios to inspire curiosity rather than fear
· Allow one thing undone at the end of the day without fixing it
· Do one thing differently to shake up your daily routine
· When the thought “I should ______” pops up, ask yourself, "Is that true?"
Ann Ruane, Certified Energy and Crystal Healer-helping shift perspective, inspire curiosity and guide transformation from the inside out.