When was the last time you asked yourself the question, "What do I deserve?" This isn't from a retaliation or punishment perspective but rather one of worthiness. What starts running through your head the minute you even think about what you are deserving or worthy of? It's essential to let go of the belief that deservedness requires 'doing' or being someone other than who you are right now.
If you grapple with your worthiness and attach it to somebody else's expectations, you will get trapped in an unhealthy cycle. Here are just a few snarls you can face:
Pressure of living up to others' expectations
Cheating yourself of your dreams
Limiting the value of who you are
Living under constant judgment
Depriving yourself of self-care or appropriate respite
Missing out on the fulfilling aspects of life
Do any of these sound familiar? Do you face any of the above with any amount of frequency?
The pressure of living up to the expectations of others deprives you of the opportunity to be who you are. You can sprinkle that with the murkiness of figuring out if those are actual expectations of others OR your own projection of what you think are the expectations of others. Expectations can drive you into a space of never being good enough, never being worthy, and never being deserving of good things happening to or for you. Take a breath. Know that the only thing you need to do is believe that who you are and what you do is enough.
Here are a few other aspects to consider:
Deserve vs. Entitlement
Passion vs. Apathy
Creating vs. Routine
Deserve vs. Entitlement
To deserve is to have or show qualities worthy of receiving. Entitlement is the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. Although the definitions are similar, I find the definition of deserve to have more humility and entitlement as more flagrant. I admit to my opinion coloring the last sentence and I have a feeling I'm not alone in that. If the line between deserving and entitlement is non-existent for you, you will most likely push back against the idea of what you deserve. If you believe you are deserving, you open yourself up to experiencing joy and pleasure without attachment or overindulgence. You take the time to slow down and honor what you need. You can have the life you want without acting like a martyr, being critical, sour or condemning.
Passion vs. Apathy
Deservedness leads to passion. There is gratitude for the life you have and all aspects of it. You are inspired to follow your dreams. You savor life experiences, finding pleasure, enjoyment and abundance in all areas. In this fluid space, there is no room for apathy. There is no need to make others feel guilty for not making your life better. You are in control. You are empowered. You take ownership in your life.
Creativity vs. Routine
The trickle down effect continues. When you are passionate about your life, creativity flows freely. There may be structure within your days but you're not trapped by routine. You think outside of the box and allow joy and pleasure to sneak into the day to day activities, adding just enough sparkle to what is familiar and routine. You have the creativity inside of you. Avoid getting stuck on the belief that you are not 'the creative type'. Yes, you are. Experiment. You'll find your unique expression of your creativity.
Now that you're one step closer to believing that you deserve to live the life you want, here are some tools to help. Notice that they all involve changing your mindset. Lean in and be willing to do something different.
Acknowledge your gifts
Use Daily Mantras (download on the right)
The what-ifs may creep in, too. What if I can't stop the monkey chatter? What if I'm trapped in an unhealthy relationship? What if my schedule is too full to squeeze in self-care? What if I don't have the money to invest in anything? What if I think mantras are a bunch of baloney? What if I don't have any talents? Even if it feels 'stupid' or you're not buying into it, keep it up. Return to the tools listed above. Lean into love and acceptance instead of letting fear be in the driver's seat. Stay with it daily. Be consistent. Be committed to you.
You deserve to live the life you want.
You deserve to be inspired and empowered.
You deserve to tap into your creativity and let it ignite your life.
Be grateful for who you are and what you have.
Shift your mindset using mantras.
Acknowledge your gifts.
Ann Ruane, Certified Energy and Crystal Healer-Helping shift perceptions, inspire curiosity and guide transformation from the inside out.