What's the one word reason why to choose forgiveness? Love? No. Peace? No. It's SELF. You, yourself, are the very reason to choose forgiveness. So, I suppose you're wondering what the four reasons are...
These are the gifts YOU receive from choosing to forgive.
Stopping the endless cycle of monkey chatter in your mind is a perfect reason to choose forgiveness. You will rid yourself of the scenario replay, which often gets exaggerated as time goes by. The 'what-ifs' will also cease. When you experience a wrong, self-judgment can creep in, making you wonder what you did wrong to deserve the treatment. Nothing. Stop beating yourself up or berating yourself. You don't deserve the mental torture.
The mental calm following forgiveness allows for a shift of perspective, healing the pain, mistrust, anger and resentment. Forgiveness also heals the shame and guilt around the experience, allowing acceptance to move in; the mind no longer has to resist the reality of the experience.
Holding a grudge drains you of precious energy. There's a heavy, lethargic feeling that can consume you. The body constricts in fear and defensiveness, making everything feel like it takes a lot more energy to do. The mind even bleeds you of energy because it is stuck in the past instead of the present moment.
After you step into forgiveness, there is an overall sense of lightness; a weight has been lifted. There's fresh, new energy moving throughout your body. The physical constriction you were experiencing eases and finds fluidity.
The experience of wrong-doings can attack your sense of self-worth, triggering doubt and rejection. Fear takes over the driver's seat and verbal attacks are at the ready...even towards people who weren't involved. The emotions get misdirected and it feels like the world is collapsing in on you.
Forgiveness releases the grip of fear and brings love back into the picture. You experience the reminder of your value and worth and all relationships find a firmer foundation. There is realignment with who you are.
Forgiveness isn't about condoning the misbehavior; it is the freedom from its grip. Freedom from the mental paralysis. Freedom from the physical pain. Freedom from the fear, mistrust, anger and resentment. Freedom from shame and guilt.
C.A.T. is your how-to guide to forgiveness. The outline of the steps is the easy part. Stepping into it honestly, vulnerably and openly can take time. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself as much time as you need. I often find the process of forgiveness similar to the 7 Stages of Grief. The process takes time and doesn't always connect to the degree of the wrong-doing. Avoid getting trapped in the attachment of what it 'should' look like.
Offer compassion to yourself for experiencing what you experienced. Be gentle. Free yourself from the shame and guilt. As time heals, compassion can be offered to the other person involved.
Accept that you experienced what you experienced. It is a part of your life story. It doesn't define you; it helps inform who you are in this moment. Resisting that it happened will prevent the healing from taking place. Lean in and open to the reality of your experience.
Offer gratitude for the growth you experienced from the event. You are on the other side of it. Acknowledge the strength and self-love it took to endure. The lessons will continue to unfold.
To sum it all up, choose to forgive for SELF:
and use CAT to get you there: Compassion, Acceptance, Thankfulness
You deserve it.
Ann Ruane-Certified Energy and Crystal Healer: Helping shift perception, inspire curiosity and guide transformation from the inside out.
All forgiveness is self forgiveness.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
-Lewis B. Smedes
Self-forgiveness is essential to self-healing.
-Ruth Carter Stapleton
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.