Stretch

Vulnerability of not knowing the outcome. I don't know about you, but that concept creates some inner resistance. Sometimes I can jump on board and love every aspect of not knowing the outcome...and then there are the other times...

Much like all other feelings I experience, the resistance to vulnerability ebbs and flows. There are days where the vulnerability of not knowing the outcome is connected to voicing what I don't know. How capable am I of admitting to another person that I don't know or understand what they are talking about or what answer it is they are seeking? Sometimes it is really quite easy to admit what I don't know and ask questions and then there are times where ego and judgment jump in and I feel like I should know the answer...but don't...

I'm engaged in a first-time project and the ability to allow things to unfold and flow is continually shifting. This experience is forcing my hand in terms of decision-making and openly expressing what it is I don't know or don't understand. It is also challenging me to increase the clarity of expressing what I need and want from any interpersonal exchanges, too.  I understand how normal this experience is, but the nature of the project increases the vulnerability factor.

With this being a first-time experience for me, I truly don't have any real sense of what the outcome will be. Is this idea exciting? Yes. Is it also terrifying? Yes.

Another aspect of this project that is stretching me is that I am not the sole person responsible for the outcome. There are many moving parts involving many different people and although I have the final say, I don't know the outcome. There is an immense amount of vulnerability in trusting how this process will unfold.

Overall, I'm very excited for this project. More so, I'm grateful for the awareness and ability to be with all aspects of the journey. There is no doubt that I am being stretched and building a relationship with vulnerability along the way.