I think the challenge is to take difficult and painful times and turn them into something beneficial, something that makes you grow.
~ Michelle Akers
Do you ever find yourself spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere? Feeling like every effort you’re making is yielding, “access denied” or “effort declined”? If so, you’re not alone.
When I find myself running into walls like that, I need to pause and pay attention. What am I bringing to the situation that is providing an unintentional (or unconscious) road block? How am I creating resistance?
Fear is a regular friend of mine, showing up to remind me that I need to ‘be’ without the worry of how I am received. More often than not, when I find myself running in circles and finally peel back the layers, I find fear. It’s not always fear paralysis-level fear, but fear of judgment, not doing enough, not being good enough, not being received or accepted, etc. As much as I’d love to have a life without fear, it always shows up to teach me something, or to remind me of my worth.
Worry is a commonly used synonym for fear. It feels more comfortable to say, “I’m worried about the outcome of my test results.” than to say, “I’m afraid of hearing about my test results.” For whatever reason, the ultimate goal is to avoid fear and admitting to feeling afraid.
How often do you find yourself ‘worrying’ about something?
What are you actually afraid of?
The sooner I ask myself what I’m afraid of, the sooner I am able to move through it and accomplish whatever it is I’m attempting to do. For the record, procrastinating is another form of fear. I avoided acknowledging that for a fair amount of time, too. Avoiding what needs to be done isn’t going to make it get done any faster…just in case you were wondering. I’ve tested the theory on numerous occasions and always came up with the same answer. 😊
I was fortunate to connect with a person on LinkedIn who specializes in helping energy healers market themselves. Perfect! Let’s dive in a clear up my avoidance around marketing. The enthusiasm around that shifted quickly. I found myself avoiding the work like the plague. So, I dove in and started asking myself what was going on. What is your resistance? What is keeping you from exploring this idea? Ultimately, every answer I was discovering was connected in some way to fear. It was easier—albeit highly unproductive—to tell myself I didn’t know the answers to the questions or that I don’t know the ‘right’ verbiage to use in an ad or how to effectively use social media or…(fill in the blank).
In this particular scenario, my biggest fear was, and probably still is a bit, around the vulnerability of being seen…for who I am, what I do, what gifts I possess and the full scope of what it means to be me. In reality, the vulnerability is connected to ME fully embracing who I am, what I do, the gifts I possess and the full scope of what it means to be me…regardless of whose company I am in. I am deeply at home when I am one-on-one with a client or alone doing the other aspects of my work, writing, playing piano, creating. Change my scenery and it’s not the same story. This is where I feed myself the ‘worried’ line, not afraid…I mean, they’re people…I know them…they know me…I like them…they like me…so what’s the hang up? I’m worried that I might make someone feel uncomfortable, or worried that ‘they’ won’t accept me, or…it can be an endless cycle if I don’t interrupt it.
I’m still learning to bravely be me ALL of the time.
The beauty of this exploration lies in the results.
In my experience with the marketing work, I have gained clarity and courage. I am moving through the fear of vulnerability, knowing that vulnerability is where I’ll find the juicy nuggets. Vulnerability connects me to my heart. Vulnerability connects me to others. Vulnerability is the magic fairy dust to fear. I need to be vulnerable with myself to move through my fear and grow from the tough, sticky moments. I have done it before and I’ll do it again!
How can you be more vulnerable with accepting yourself?
How does fear impact you in difficult times?
How have you moved through a difficult time and turned it into a beneficial opportunity for growth?
Walking together in light, love, and peace. 🙏