Sensation tell us a thing is.
Thinking tell us what it is this thing is.
Feeling tells us what this thing is to us.
Thinking and feeling are not the same.
Thinking about feelings is not the same as feeling the feelings, either.
Thinking offers rationalization or excuses where feeling offers insight.
I have been hit or miss in my daily journaling/meditation/prayer time. I am rationalizing it because of all of the things I have to do…which is merely an excuse. My daily time is sacred to me and my mind/body/spirit balance. I need my check in time to honor what I’m feeling and discover the nuggets that emerge out of the process. Yet here I am…avoiding…and rationalizing it all through thinking.
As a result (or so the connection can be made), I am not sleeping well.
Which affects my focus and mental presence…and my patience…and my motivation…and my inspiration. And here I sit, writing a blog instead of writing in my journal.
I can rationalize everything (though I’m avoiding the reality that the lack of motivation and inspiration keeps me from effectively tending to my to-do list). What a crazy little dance I’m doing to avoid feeling my feelings. Can you relate?
There’s plenty to be with and rationalize away. The election, the pandemic, the holidays, my book, puppy training, household chores…no different than the rest of you. But in reality, those are all sources of inspiration to check in with how I am feeling and gain awareness that will help me.
What is the full extent of my fear surrounding the election? What I am truly most afraid of? What source of inner courage needs to be opened to face the level of fear within? Thinking versus feeling.
I seek clarity on my own feelings around the pandemic. I am surrounded by a very broad scope of beliefs and choices made accordingly. I sometimes struggle with what I hear and what I see yet I avoid taking the time to peel back the layers to honor how I feel. I attempt to rationalize and hold space for each person’s choices, yet my feelings are getting suffocated because I would prefer to avoid conflict. The reality is that I need to touch those feelings so I am not drained by what I experience daily. Thinking versus feeling.
Writing a book is a brilliant lesson in self-discovery. There’s a lot to dance with, including expectation, judgment, self-worth (all of which are covered in my book, no less!). I can tell myself as often as I want that I am pleased with the content of my book and am proud of my accomplishment. BUT…there is the nagging expectation of the book selling well and being received well by those who read it. That’s where the feeling part comes in. My self-worth is not determined by anything connected to the book at all, yet ego can jump in and poke at the vulnerability of the time, effort and money invested in the book and link it all together. In business, it would be referred to as the return on the investment. In personal/spiritual growth, it would be referred to as being grounded in self-love and acceptance and allowing the ripple to occur as it is meant to…in divine time. One doesn’t write a book, especially as an indie author, for the purpose of a return on the investment. The purpose is about the inner passion to create and share what is within and allow it to be seen and experienced by others. Thinking versus feeling.
Now, with a stretch of not sleeping well, I am faced with another piece to think about. I can justify how all that I am experiencing is weighing on me OR I can be gentle, lean in, be curious, and embrace the feelings that are longing to be felt. Feelings are rarely rational. That’s why they’re called feelings and not thinkings! Carl Jung makes it quite clear when he said, “Feeling tells us what this thing is to us.”
Why is ‘this thing’ (fill in topic, event, experience) important?
What belief does it challenge or support?
What nugget of truth is waiting to be revealed behind the feeling?
Now that I opened the door, I’m going to reacquaint myself with my journal!
Walking together in light, love, peace…and feeling.