Expectations are the greatest diversion from peace and acceptance. The scary part is that we often don't even have an awareness of the expectations we hold.
Sometimes the expectations are of others and sometimes they are of ourselves.
While both of them are worth exploring and diving into, I'm going to focus on the expectations we hold for ourselves. Expectations of others start to shift once we have a different awareness of the expectations we hold for ourselves.
The expectations we hold for ourselves are often connected to old stories or beliefs we carry. The more gentleness and awareness we can bring to the beliefs and expectations, the more open we can be, allowing for more ease and fluidity.
When we are trapped by expectations, we hold ourselves to a rigid set of rules, a need to control, and a demand for perfection. Sounds delightful, doesn't it?
I have discovered through my own personal work as well as with my clients and friends that an exceptional amount of expectations are held around emotions...and permission to feel them.
We all want to feel joy and happiness but we expect it to come free of the experience of feeling sad, mad, hurt, ashamed, or afraid.
I've been unpacking old beliefs and expectations around emotions and the price I have to pay to feel them or the exorbitant surcharge after the fact. I am blessed to have someone to safely unpack this with, but that doesn't make it easy.
The upside of this exploration is openness. I am understanding what has been restrictive and am learning how to trust...me...how I feel...how to share it.
The openness allows me to see my patterns of response towards myself and compare it to how I respond to others.
It also allows me to see how my own fears around feeling can inhibit my openness with others.
As I release the expectations around feeling, I open to the richness of feeling greater joy. I experience a deeper connection to those in my life and to life itself.
Do you expect yourself to be happy all of the time? If so, where did that belief arise?
Do you expect yourself to be strong and never to cry or feel sad? Again, explore the source of that belief.
Do you expect others to abandon you if you show emotion? Why or why not?
How do you expect others to respond to you when you are feeling emotional? How does that influence your decision to feel how you feel?
Walking together in light, love, and peace.
Would you like to dive deeper into expectations?
Find more tools in my upcoming book
Fall in Love with the Whispers of Your Heart
A Guide to Transformation from the Inside Out
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