Do you want to know what’s really beautiful? Confidence.

Do you want to know what’s really powerful? Persistence.

Do you want to know what’s really sexy? Not needing to be needed.

And if still “they” don’t notice your good looks, your strength, and your sashay… could you feel more sorry for them?

Tallyho,
The Universe

(a.k.a. Mike Dooley)

 

I have created my list of presents for myself…confidence, persistence and independence. It’s the acquisition and maintenance of the presents that will require great presence.

 

Confidence is a beautiful energy that simply exudes from a person. Confidence is being able to commit whole-heartedly to my beliefs and inner truth regardless of what someone else believes. Yet it also involves being open minded and flexible to hearing what others have to say without it coloring my resolve. There’s definitely a difference between confidence and close-mindedness. It does get challenging when someone gets defensive or feels threatened when they don’t agree or understand. There’s much more courage needed to be wrapped up in the confidence when this happens. I feel the familiar feelings of shame trying to creep to the surface and the inner paralysis which has the ability to close my heart and hide in defensiveness. The beauty lies in being in tune with my familiar body response and using that awareness to breathe and reconnect. It can be a struggle when my heart is racing and monkey mind is going a million miles an hour. However, breath invites courage. Breath invites connection. Breath slows me down. Breath reminds me that I am safe and have the right to my own opinion. If someone chooses to judge me or hold my beliefs against me, deeming me a “bad” person, that is their cross to bear…not mine. Confidence and courage are intimately entwined, reminding me to stay in my heart.

 

Persistence is the “easiest” of the three for me. And by easy, I don’t mean that it doesn’t take attention and intention. I mean that it is the one that is most accessible for me to tap into. I have always been my own best advocate, even if I didn’t/don’t always find my voice to show it. Even on the days when I feel defeated and deflated, I carry on. I may say that I want to crawl back into bed, but that’s never a realistic option for me. I know that I have a passion for living my life as fully as possible, which includes leaning into the discomfort and regaining balance. To me, persistence and passion are intimately entwined. It takes passion to be persistent. I know what I am passionate about and I know that I want each day to include as much of those activities as possible. I am blessed that my work includes my passion…crystals, energy work, spiritual growth, personal growth, music-both teaching and playing. I admit to needing a love nudge every once in a while for me to engage in my passions for ME, but at least I am immersed in them daily. It is easier to be persistent when the flame of passion is ignited. Because I connect to my passions daily, I find myself being more prepared to carry on in the face of adversity.

 

Needing to be needed-the crux of the human condition. We all want to know we are loved and feel compelled to be whatever others need us to be in order to be loved. This often leads to a really unhealthy relationship, sometimes abusive, and can create a toxic form of co-dependency. What I have learned and apply to myself is my ability to fill my own needs. If I can befriend all of the elements of who I am, especially the ones that can creep into judgment, I will be free to love me as deeply as possible. When I fulfill my own needs, it also liberates me from the need to be needed. As I continually step into my own personal empowerment, I have a greater ability to model that for others. I see that the single most important person to receive unconditional love from is me. When I offer that to myself, there is no need to be needed. I am whole and complete on my own. The love I receive from others becomes the rich sweetness added to my life…not the creator or justification. Approval from others is no longer needed. Is it nice to receive a compliment or receive affirmation for a job well done? Absolutely. But my sense of Self isn’t dependent upon receiving that from others. When I feel stuck or at odds, I turn to my connection to Spirit for the reminder of my light and love. With this in hand, the presence of others can truly be that…presents.

 

As Christmas draws ever closer and the often self-imposed pressure increases, offer yourself the present of presence. Be in the moment. Breathe. Live what the season means to YOU. Be courageous and confident. Be passionate and persistent. Be independent, yet connected. Be your own best gift…to you and to others.

Posted in Allowing, Awareness, Courage