Complex
"Life is as complex as we are.
Sometimes our vulnerability is our strength,
our fear develops our courage,
and our woundedness is the road to our integrity."
-Rachel Naomi Remen
I read this excerpt from Kitchen Table Wisdom over and over. It speaks right to my core. I'm hoping that if I read it enough times, it will automatically POP into my head when I need to be reminded of these words.
I am passionate about personal growth. It intrigues me, sparks my curiosity, and invites a level of honest awareness about who I am and why I do what I do. And by no means am I touting that I've got it all figured out, either!
I still have moments where the same 'button' is pushed and my response is the familiar, unhealthy choice. The intensity may be less, but the trigger is still activated. Then I get to hone the dance on the fine line of being gentle with myself vs. being annoyed with myself.
One situation in particular keeps circling back for me. I'm grateful for the awareness and ability to work on shifting the patterned response, but I'm not going to sugar coat it...it's exhausting.
I have to remind myself often that I can only change MY response to the situation.
I am not in control of anything else. My vulnerability must be my strength. I feel naked and undefended in the moments of changing my response, yet that is the ONLY way to honor my boundary and heal the trigger within.
In that very context, my fear really does develop my courage. When all of the knots are getting tied in my stomach and I am trembling inside, I get to choose courage and not engage.
Do I trip? Yep.
Do I get back up? Always.
Do I strengthen the courage muscle each time? You better believe I do.
My own wound around the fear of rejection is the road I need to walk to live in the integrity of knowing--deep in my heart--my value. My worthiness is NOT determined by someone else's wounding.
Neither is yours.
How has your vulnerability proved to be your strength?
How has your fear developed into courage?
How has your woundedness guided your road to integrity?
Walking together in light, love, peace, and integrity.
