What are You Thinking? – Lux Eterna Healing

What thoughts are going through your mind right now?

Seriously. Are you aware of them?

I recently read an article that challenged readers to notice their thoughts as often as possible throughout the day. My first thought? Sounds pretty easy. I'm game.

WOW. Was I wrong!

I realized how often I had no idea what was really going through my head.

I understand how silly that might sound, but it's true! The end of the day would come and I realized I didn't pause to notice my thoughts, much less have an awareness of their impact.

New day. Clean slate. I can do this.

Again, I was completely amazed at how little I paid attention. Granted, it is a new habit to create, but just the same, it was almost as though I was avoiding it; like I was playing mind games with my mind!

The breakthrough happened when I was frustrated. Then I was definitely aware of my thoughts!

Here's the reveal: there was blame, victim/martyr mentality, judgment-mostly of the other but also of myself, and tons of ruminating.

It was like I was a rabid dog fighting for fresh prey, not giving up nor letting go.

It was humbling and exceptionally helpful. In that moment, I was keenly aware of my thoughts and knew that I needed to change the familiar-unconscious-pattern. I was successful in that moment and my day wasn't 'ruined' by the experience that frustrated me.

That moment was the oil needed to get the rusty, stuck wheels moving fluidly again.

I'm not about to claim that I've mastered my thoughts, but I have more awareness, which lends itself to a quicker reaction time in shifting them.

Even as I attempted to write this blog, I was noticing how I was letting the blips of the day feed the story that "this just isn't a good day", "nothing is working right", "I don't even know what to write about", and I even put some blame on Topaz when I was the one not setting boundaries for an eight-month-old puppy. Due to the fact that you are actually reading this blog, you know that I was able to make the choice to change the thoughts and move through them. (And with me setting some boundaries, my puppy is sound asleep behind my chair and has been the entire time.)