Trust

"If I could identify one core problem about the world, it's that we've been taught to distrust ourselves."
~ Shakti Gawain

Before one can fully step into trusting another, one has to first trust him or herself.

To me, trust is another concept that carries high aspirations of attainment with a dance around what it means to me individually. I want to trust someone, but what does that mean? What does it include?

The Oxford Dictionary defines trust as “to believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.”

When I look at that definition, some attributes that come to mind include consistency, honesty, commitment, vulnerability, willingness and love. Are there other attributes that you would add? If so, what are they?

I’d like to think that I can always trust myself. In most situations, I would agree with that. However, there are moments when life offers me an opportunity to be consistent with my needs and my truth. How do I show up for myself in those moments? Am I present for myself or cowering in fear? Is my love for myself reliable enough to face what is to be faced, regardless of the risk or the outcome? These are trickier questions to answer. As I reflect on those questions, I can say that I have grown tremendously in this area, but there’s still room for more growth. I find that I can rely on myself to show up for me more often than shoving myself off a proverbial cliff.

The honesty or truth piece feels a little dicey to me. There are times when I think I’m being honest with myself when in reality, it might be more a matter of convincing myself what would be easier to handle and going with that answer. I can rest with a fair amount of confidence in the latter when it comes to feeling the stickier, more uncomfortable feelings that are hanging out within me. I would much prefer to convince myself that all is well and that I’m content since I can get through my days with grace and ease rather than really dive in and explore what I need or how I feel.

In reality, many of these traits dovetail into each other, supporting each other. They all need to be present to some degree in order to deepen trust. If I REALLY want to look at the root of trust for me, it boils down to feeling the feels within me. When did feelings become so scary? When did my needs get buried under everyone else’s? When did my emotional well-being take back seat to making sure somebody else felt emotionally comfortable? Do I trust that it is safe for me to feel how I feel? Can I trust that there is enough courage within to be who I am without having to conform or coddle?

The questions are not only being answered, but I’m using the information to make a shift. I trust myself enough to know that I have the ability within me to make the change and honor all that is within me, even the parts that might frighten me.

In the moments when I struggle with this shift, I remind myself of my acronym for trust:

Total
Reliance
Upon
Spirit’s
Teachings

It doesn’t get much better than that! The element of the acronym that really makes my heart smile is the dual aspect of ‘spirit’; it means Spirit as in Divine or God AND my own personal spirit. Pure joy!

The next nudge naturally leads to going within to listen. What does my spirit need? How is my spirit feeling? What inspires my spirit? The teachings of Spirit remind me of my inherent worthiness, the expansiveness of my gifts, the depth of love for and within me, and my connection to spiritual love, grace, mercy and support.

There is much beauty and gratitude for the gifts I have been given, the ability to nurture them and share them with others, and the opportunity to deepen my awareness to the magnitude of what lies within.