How many times have you dismissed how you’re feeling, hoping it will just go away on its own if you ignore it?
Has it ever been helpful?
Has it ever created a stronger, bigger reaction in a following situation because it was simmering under the surface, waiting for the next opportunity to arise?
How often have you “explained off” how you’re feeling? For example, justifying someone’s harshness to you because you knew they were having a bad day, or because they are doing the best they can, or they didn’t really mean to or…
Emotions are energy in motion. Emotions come and go as effortlessly as the clouds…if we allow them to.
As easy as it may seem to dismiss emotion, there is always a price to be paid. Sometimes the price is paid by those closest to you.
“Your wound is probably not your fault. But your healing is your responsibility.” ~Shraddha
The thing I have found is when I ignore the emotion around a ‘wound’, when a similar wound is experienced, the emotional response to it is increased. For example, I know that I have a need to be acknowledged in some way, shape or form when I say something to someone. When I am repeatedly dismissed or ignored, I get irritated and angry. If I choose to justify someone else’s behavior, I could say they were distracted or what I was saying wasn’t that important anyway. This choice does not serve me well as my sensitivity around this will increase. In my world, changing subjects and talking over me is just as much of an irritant. Over time, both of those situations result in feeling insignificant, disrespected and rejected.
Just recently, I was in a professional setting and experienced the same situation. I was stunned at the blunt choice of words and actions by this person. I acknowledged (or skimmed the surface, really) how I felt but didn’t connect all of the dots. Fast forward a week…the same person has now asked a favor of me that will have an impact on my schedule. I have come face to face with the emotion that I didn’t really want to get into because it felt too big in the initial moment.
I also believe that if I continue to ignore my emotions around this, Spirit will continue to give me opportunities to check in and learn…with increasingly powerful experiences.
Imagine, if you will, what it might be like with deeper pain, grief, trauma or anger that is unresolved…death…divorce…health issues…broken relationships…job loss…and how the overwhelm could engulf someone so deeply that there is a belief that they can’t feel. As a result, compassion is lost and the awareness of how others feel is nowhere on the radar. Imagine the unconscious pain that is thrown upon other people.
Feeling is healing.
In order to feel, one has to be consciously aware of the choices made and take responsibility.
We can no longer allow numbness and blame to dominate our personal lives. The change we affect personally carries an impact to others.
It takes strength and courage to cry and feel sadness.
It takes strength and courage to learn how to calmly express anger and learn from the trigger.
It takes strength and courage to feel hurt and pain.
It takes strength and courage to admit to feeling shame.
It takes strength and courage to express fear.
It takes strength and courage to love…love beyond words and actions…because we are all inherently good.
Don’t let your mind confuse you and make you think that it takes more strength to be stoic and unfeeling.
Feeling emotions may seem daunting and overwhelming, but the rewards are rich.
I invite you to start the adventure of feeling now…and start again tomorrow…and the next day. Start your day by taking a deep breath and asking yourself, “What am I feeling?” Choose from: sad, mad, glad, hurt, ashamed, afraid. When you find yourself feeling “off”, ask yourself the question again.