I almost have to laugh at myself for the resistance I am experiencing to sit down and be with this quote. Part of my journey right now is an increase in noticing the pain in my physical body. My left side is finding its way to healing, opening and balancing and experiencing a fair amount of discomfort along the way, mainly in my shoulder. I am experiencing lessons in patience, slowing down, personal empowerment and asking for help. Nothing like experiencing a handful of “biggies” all at once! And I forgot one…acceptance. Accepting the uncertainty of everything is quite the challenge.
The thing that keeps coming up for me throughout this and in various forms is fear. I feel scared. My mind is attached to all sorts of outcomes and what ifs. There is a constant dialogue between my head and my heart…breathe…slow down…be gentle…but what if…breathe…
In my healing process, I have been blessed with wonderful healers offering their gifts and insights. I experience momentary relief and then my body falls back into the familiar. I feel scared that if this isn’t “working”, then what will? How long am I going to be experiencing this discomfort?
I have invited myself to sit with the fear and understand what is behind it all yet as of right now, I have repeatedly declined the invitation! Instead I find myself wrapped up in what am I missing…what else do I need to do…what do I most need…
I am aware of my general misalignment and balance on my left side so I have been keenly focused on keeping my left foot in alignment and really feeling my weight balanced on BOTH of my sitz bones. I have been paying attention while I play piano to notice the impact it has on me physically. I have been told that the pain and discomfort I experience in my sacrum and tail bone is due to a deviated coccyx. Ouch. I feel so much fear around the impact that playing the piano is having on my body. I am passionate about my playing. I am also passionate about physical balance and alignment. My neck stiffens simply thinking about this.
This quote is exactly what I need for what I am currently experiencing. I am being as courageous as I can be in any given moment. When I wonder whether or not it is enough, I gently remind myself it is enough because it is the best I have to offer in this moment. The moments change, too. I can experience varying degrees of discomfort in various areas of my left side throughout the course of one day. I am doing my best to accept what comes as it comes. It can feel monumental at times.
What are you struggling to accept right now?
What feelings are coming up around the struggle?
Notice the courage you do have, even if you feel overwhelmed or scared.
Be gentle with yourself and know that doing your best in any moment changes from moment to moment.