Reconciliation

The first thing that came to mind around this was “mental reconciliation.”

 

Reconciliation: the restoration of friendly relations; action of making one view or belief compatible with another.

 

Talk about a spiritual love nudge!

 

It’s easy to spend time noticing what we could improve upon or change, but how often do we allow time to appreciate all of our strengths and assets?

 

I had an interesting nudge that lead to all of this last week. I was walking with a friend of mine and she was commenting on me being an extrovert and a people person. I was stunned! I love being at home, not caring if I have an active social life at all. I love being alone or with my husband, sharing in activities that we enjoy like hiking or other outdoor activities. I feel rather socially awkward, too…even with my relatives! I often struggle for something to talk about, worrying about whether or not someone will engage in conversation with me. This has been a pattern in my world for as long as I can remember!

 

I can be with a group of people and be engaged in the conversation started by others but am not a fan of milling around a gathering of people and seeking conversation or connection. I don’t see myself as an initiator. Although I’m fascinated by a myriad of things, I all of a sudden feel lost and blank when it comes to starting a conversation. I can walk away from a person and all of a sudden be flooded with topics or questions I could’ve engaged them in. It’s a rather frustrating thing.

 

The other side of this is how seemingly easy it is for me to be “on” when I am in public. I can cover my discomfort with relative ease…on most days.

 

To add a little more spice to the mix, when I am teaching, regardless of whether it is music/piano-related or connected to growth/consciousness, I feel quite comfortable and at ease. There may be some nerves if I am in a new situation or stepping out of my comfort zone, but I easily find my niche and feel comfortable. There is no doubt that I am a teacher.

 

So my real puzzle comes down to reconciling whatever mental block there is between my social self and my teacher self. I would love to feel as at ease socially as I do when I am “teaching”. I have come to realize that I keep to myself in close relationships, too. I may or may not get to sharing things that happen in my day…not because I don’t find them important to me, I simply don’t. It’s really an interesting thing to come into such clarity…without actually making sense. I definitely have received a love nudge worth chewing on!

 

What mental reconciliation do you need to step into?

 

How does your sense of what you are not play out with your sense of what you are?

 

What love nudge can you take away and chew on?