Connection

 

“Above all, be true to yourself,

and if you cannot put your heart in it,

take yourself out of it.”

~Hardy D. Jackson

 

 

I have been blessed these last two weekends to immerse myself in my gift of music and share it as vulnerably as possible with those who attended the concerts. It nourishes my soul to know that connection was chosen over perfection. I’m referring to connection in the form of my connection to the music and my connection to my gift, resulting in my connection with the audience and their individual connection to the music. It is a myriad of interwoven connection that exquisitely demonstrates our daily interconnection.

 

In both of these concert experiences, I allowed myself to be true to who I am…flaws and all. There were plenty of mistakes that breezed by, but I chose to allow them to be part of my offering. There certainly wasn’t any chaotic or catastrophic musical result from my mistakes and many people wouldn’t even know, but the point is that I knew and I embraced them. I stayed connected to my heart and allowed the music to continue to flow from my fingers and dance on the keys. There was such joy in the connection and sharing of the music. It was a very different level of connection and fulfillment than I have felt in the past. I embraced the “me” in what I had to offer and enjoyed it immensely.

 

This, of course, begs the question as to how I can be that connected far more often in my daily life. What needs to shift within me to embrace the “me” in what I have to offer and enjoy it immensely? Where is the disconnect between my daily life and my work/gifts? Between the energy work and piano teaching/performing, I have established a deep connection and vulnerability, filled with gentleness and compassion. I honor those moments very intentionally. Why wouldn’t I honor every moment with intention and connection? This lies at the heart of what I do as part of my personal/spiritual growth.

 

Keeping my heart in all that I do requires an awareness to the moments when I feel triggered or off-balance and viewing them with an impersonal curiosity and honoring the feelings. It’s about feeling into my body and getting out of my head. What am I noticing within? What am I feeling? Where are the areas of tension? The more I stay in my head, the easier it is to dismiss the fullness of the feelings and justify the actions of the other person…which then dishonors my heart and the truth of what I’m experiencing. The impersonal curiosity includes removing the trigger of whatever wound is there and noticing the pattern in the exchange. The combination of these two elements allows me to stay connected to my heart. I honor what I am feeling without taking on the role of the victim. If I choose to skip over all of this, I am taking myself out of ‘it’…whatever ‘it’ may be. I want to stay in my heart. I choose to embrace what I have to offer and enjoy it immensely. In reality, I’m the only constant person in my life. I can trust that I will be the only one with me as long as I walk the face of the earth. There are no guarantees that anyone else will be with me. Only me. Why not love the one you’re with?