As many of you know, my beloved yellow lab Wolfgang found his way to peace last Thursday. As I continue to grieve his passing, I have come to see just how parallel our lives really were.

 

I was blessed with Wolfgang when he was the tender age of six weeks old. Although we had puppies when I was growing up, I was growing up…I didn’t tend to all of the nitty-gritty puppy stuff. I had the fun part of playing with the puppy. So when Wolfgang came home with me, I really didn’t have a clear sense of what was in store for me.

 

I can see now that the overwhelm I felt with the constant attention and care Wolfgang needed paralleled how overwhelmed I was about my own work…that I clearly didn’t realize I was embarking upon at the time.

 

Training a puppy requires an awareness of the words and energy of the words being spoken. They need to be encouraged, loved, supported and gently guided. As my own life unfolded and I was facing divorce, I needed to be equally aware of the words and energy of the words I was speaking to myself, both internally and externally.

 

Then comes time for play. Dogs definitely give the strong nudge to play, to get outside and to experience life. Wolfgang reminded me that work will still be there, worrying about finances won’t solve anything and taking time to play is good for the soul. I was reminded how amazing it felt to have a good belly laugh and the joy in simplicity. I, too, was maturing into being more present in every day. I became very intentional in time to connect and play.

 

Wolfgang was very openly himself. He had one big personality! He was curious, naughty, sweet, playful, gentle, exuberant, loving and so much more. The point is that he allowed EVERY part of his personality to show whenever he wanted. There was no holding back. Wolfgang walked with me as I braved all of the aspects of my personality, too…clearly becoming myself.

 

In addition to his personality, he also learned to ‘vocalize’ his beliefs. He set boundaries, clearly reinforced them and spoke his mind, sometimes in joy and exuberance, sometimes in whining for what he wanted and sometimes in displeasure for a “no” from me. Regardless of its meaning, he was heard. My journey includes finding my voice in similar areas, trusting in the importance of being heard.

 

As he aged, Wolfgang realized that there were things he couldn’t do any more like go running with me. He found a space of acceptance and would watch me from the window and eagerly greet me at the door upon my return. I, too, learned how to be with things or events that were uncomfortable with grace, presence and support. I understood that there is maturity in accepting what was meant for me and what was not.

 

I also witnessed the way in which Wolfgang would greet everyone who came to the house. He was filled with joy yet was always sensitive to where they were. Love was his guiding light. Wolfgang could be gentle with those who needed it and offer invitations to play to those who were ready to play. Every single person was important to him. This is such an important lesson to embrace. Every person has significance, regardless of the role played in my life…including those I may only encounter once. And greet each person with an open heart, allowing the encounter to unfold.

 

In the later years of his life, Wolfgang accepted what he needed. He let me know what his needs were and accepted the support. This is an on-going lesson for me…acknowledging what I need, asking for it and then receiving it.

 

This is one element of my reflection on how these lessons from Wolfgang guided me in becoming clearly myself. Wolfgang’s physical presence urged me to be the best version of myself.  Our lives were entwined in a rich tapestry of love, joy, sadness, playfulness, heartache and ultimately surrender. The richness of this relationship reminds me that becoming clearly myself changes the depth of relationship with other people.

 

Thank you for walking with me on this journey of growth and love through relationship and connection to my beloved Wolfgang.

 

May we all see how pure relationships deeply impact our life.

 

May we all remember to celebrate relationship while we have the opportunity to celebrate together.

 

May we all clearly become ourselves.

Posted in Connection, Love, Relationship