A Fresh Start

A fresh start.

A new chapter in life waiting to be written.

New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved.

Answers to be discovered and then lived

In this transformative year of delight and self-discovery.

~Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

I’m inspired by these words, yet at the same time I’m not feeling the newness of 2017. Part of it could be due to the head cold I’m experiencing, but just the same, I’m currently feeling a bit overwhelmed. I’m sure ego is playing a large role in this, too. The ever self-defeating voice that gets louder as things shift and change.

 

As I look back at 2016, I have a deep sense of gratitude for the many blessings I have experienced: the business is growing, my piano performing has become more consistent, my personal growth efforts have unfolded richly and Mike and I weathered some storms that brought us even closer. Yet the nagging critic still appears and offers time-tested questions of self-doubt and worthiness. Sigh…

 

I’m not one for making a new year resolution, per se, but I will sit down with my journal at the beginning of the new year and write down goals or dreams in different areas: family, business, personal, health, travel, financial, spiritual, etc. and come up with an umbrella theme that ties them all together. I always enjoy this activity, including looking back to the past year’s goals and comparing the two. Interestingly enough, I find myself not being as connected and inspired by this list as I have in the past. What’s even more interesting is that I’m avoiding stepping into the inquisitive discovery as to what might be creating the resistance. This is one pattern that I intend to shift in 2017…resisting the uncomfortable moments to get the love nugget.

 

I have already committed to the intention of being more consciously aware of things to be thankful for. I noticed how easy it is to get together with friends and kvetch about life instead of sharing the challenges and either asking for help or honoring how the situation was resolved and the growth that took place. I go between those two (kvetching vs. sharing) and intend to shift to the positive side. Friends are there to listen and support, but I want to be mindful about what is actually coming out of my mouth.

 

I’m also holding a higher consciousness around what “me” I’m offering at all times. Am I able to be considerate even when I feel lousy? Do I speak with kindness even if I’m struggling? Am I able to offer my best self at all times without the negativity attached when I’m low energy, unmotivated, crabby, etc.?

 

The adage often refers to “out with the old, in with the new”. I would like to offer this in its place: “Honor the old and transform it into new.” The two are very similar in their intention, but the second one acknowledges that the new is always within me. I don’t have to ‘bring something in’ to change me. I need to honor all that lies within me that is patiently waiting …