“You are not a product of your circumstances
but a product of your decisions.”

~ Maya Angelou

 

 

There is a lot of truth to the adage “thoughts become things”. Wherever the energy is directed, that is what comes to fruition. As Pollyanna as it may sound to keep thoughts positive, it is one of the cheapest ways to move beyond the cycle of stories, fears and worries. The intentions need to be held in a positive statement because that is what is energetically understood. The concept of “don’t” doesn’t register. One of my favorite examples of this comes from my husband. Before he met me, his thought pattern was, “I don’t want someone under 40. I don’t want someone with a dog. And I don’t want someone from Green Bay.” Guess what he received…someone under 40 (at the time we met), with a dog and from Green Bay. He obviously was holding some strong intentions, but they were stated in the negative instead of the positive. I adore this story and love sharing it with others. We still have a good laugh about this.

 

This all ties into the decision-making process because we have the power to choose what to believe, what to do and what to say. This is also intimately related to being in the moment without holding any expectations of how a situation is “supposed” to unfold. A very recent example of this would be Mike’s daughter’s wedding. A small number of us, mainly immediate family, were invited to celebrate the wedding in Vieques, Puerto Rico. Now the easy assumption would be, “Wow. Puerto Rico! What an awesome place to go for a long weekend.” The initial response from me was, “Oh, wow. I get to spend four days with Mike’s ex-wife.” Granted, we’ve met before and there isn’t any tension or bad blood, but the bride at this wedding is a connection shared between Mike and his ex-wife. Not me. I’m the newest addition to the mix. I shared my thoughts with Mike to get them out in the open and to offer myself the emotional support I needed. I reminded myself to be open to what will unfold and make the decision to be free of expectations as to what it could look like. As it turned out, we had a lovely time in Puerto Rico with lots of laughter and memories. I made the decision to be open-minded and positive, not any type of victim to the circumstance.

 

This also holds true in business endeavors. I am passionate about my healing business. It really doesn’t feel like work to me and I get the honor of meeting and walking with people on their own personal empowerment journey. I know the potential of the work I do and desire more people to find their path of personal growth through sessions with me. My biggest hang-up is how to get the word out. Due to the nature of this work, it’s not very common for people to share their experience over coffee with a friend. It’s easy for me to get caught up in this knowledge and wonder about the growth of my business. Do I need to be doing something different? Do I need to be associated with someone or an established business? I get caught up in the circumstance of having a home studio as potentially being a downfall when in reality the studio is a very peaceful and healing space. I am continually being offered the love nudge to allow for everything to unfold as it is meant to. I am making adjustments to my web presence, offering insights on personal growth and being present and deeply connected to each soul that comes to see me. The decisions I am making to be present and to be seen allow me to empower myself and my business and avoiding the hazardous “what ifs”.

 

The conscious decision-making is also key in personal relationships. If Mike is upset about something or pre-occupied, I have the choice to fall ‘victim’ to his space/mood or I can be in my own space and offer him quiet compassion as he works through what he needs to. The same holds true when the situation is reversed. It tends to be trickier with a spouse because the desire to fix things for them or take it personally is a more innate response. I don’t want to see my partner hurting or upset and sometimes find it challenging to stay in my peaceful, content place and offering the invitation, if you will, to move through the discomfort and find peace. It also has a lot to do with knowing each other well enough to be able to decompress each other with a joke or something else to shift perspective. Ultimately, it comes down to the decision that is made. The choice is mine and nobody else’s.

 

In what ways do you allow yourself to be a product of your circumstances?

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