I have found myself to be much more intentional about my prayer time since the start of 2018. I don’t even know how to explain how liberating it feels to be able to say “prayer time” without a slight recoil. Once upon a time, I had to do some hefty soul work around the word prayer. Through the course of last year and into this year, I have come to understand that I get stuck in “church” prayer, “church” God, “Catholic” Jesus and “Catholic” Mary. I most likely won’t go into all of that in this blog, but I wanted to give a point of reference to the scope of what has been unfolding for me.
Prayer is a consistent aspect of my day, an essential point of connection. It’s not that it hasn’t been in the past, but it is more intentional and “take a pause” rather than the quick chit chat with God to start my day or the “pause when I have time” prayer. It is devoted time at the beginning AND the end of my day. Prayer looks very different for me now than I had imagined it to be ten years ago. Prayer is journaling, reading an inspirational passage or two and reflecting on it, ‘conversation’ if the moment leads me there, meditation if I feel the call to, or whatever else will bridge the gap. There is no right or wrong way to pray. I was getting stuck in the ego trap of what it “should” look like.
My morning prayer time happens after the ‘routinized’ element of breakfast, walking the dog, exercising and showering. This gives me time to be with where I am so far and to be even more guided in my prayer time and intentionally connected in my day. One of the most significant elements of this time is how I treat and view myself. When I am with a client, there is always a lit candle and I invoke Christ Consciousness within, allowing light and love to be my guide. I also offer white light protection to keep the work pure, invite my client to receive the healing they are able to receive and to offer gratitude for being a channel for that healing. I never had offered myself that same degree of sacredness…until this year. When I offer to ME what I offer to my clients, it opens a completely different space of connection, bridging all elements of me that are brought to the table and the gentleness to accept all aspects of me. I allow myself to see the divinity within me as I see within my clients. This has had a profound impact on me.
I tend to journal first, taking inventory on what I have been noticing physically and mentally. Without fail, the passages I read ALWAYS support it. I have received affirmation after affirmation…such a blessing. Even on the morning when I noticed how much judgmental chit chat was going on in my head, all of the passages I read supported compassion, grace and mercy. I even received an opportunity to shift my perspective through another passage. It has reminded me that no matter what I bring to the table each day, I am loved and supported. There have been days when I notice that I’m a bit impatient and instead of wondering why, I simply ask for guidance and discernment with my words. I ask for the reminder to breathe before I respond or the intuitive nudge to keep my mouth shut instead of instigating a nitpicky argument. This process has allowed me to be where I am each day and know that it doesn’t change or alter my connection with God.
My personal journey and my spiritual journey are one in the same. There is no difference. The thorns I face on my personal journey are insights for spiritual growth. Jeff Brown connects to this point in Spiritual Graffiti when he says (paraphrased) that spirituality is reality; living in the real moment. We need to be present in what is really going on, not the stories in our heads, the fears we carry with us or the worry about what might happen.
Bridge the conscious and the unconscious.
Connect to your sacred center-your soul.
Do your “soul work” to be intimate with your own divinity as well as with God.