Confusion Say…

Be confused, it’s where you begin to learn new things.
Be broken, it’s where you begin to heal.
Be frustrated, it’s where you start to make more authentic decisions.
Be sad, because if we are brave enough we can hear our heart’s wisdom through it.
Be whatever you are right now.
No more hiding.
You are worthy, always.
~S.C. Lourie

I’m always amazed at the depth of these thoughts. My initial response is that I’m ok with confusion…unless I’m overwhelmed…or doubting…or afraid of not knowing what to do. Ultimately, that means I’m not ok with being confused! I had been sitting on the intention of redoing my webpage and allowing confusion to be in complete control. I’m techno-capable, but certainly not techno-savvy. I didn’t know where to start, what to do, how to format it and everything else that goes with it. Gratefully, my husband referred me to Cindy, who designed and created the new site. It was an enlightening and fulfilling experience all at the same time. As Cindy would have parts of it completed, I found myself having an opinion about the pictures used or other aspects. It helped guide the clarity of what message I really wanted to portray. All of the aspects of the work I do with my clients came into a different focus and I was able to articulate my mission. One week later, I have learned that there is still more I want to include on certain pages to open the doors to the depth of the healing potential at Lux Eterna Healing. Being confused offered me the opportunity to see my work through another set of eyes and to break free of the restriction I was feeling.

Although this is a semantics issue, I prefer the idea of being in pain or hurt instead of being broken. With that being said, it really is necessary to feel the pain of a situation in order to heal it. Denying the pain only adds to physical tension and energetic constriction. Sitting with the pain allows the emotion to pass through and the lesson to be revealed. Using the example of the website work, I was feeling really nauseated with the financial investment involved. I had to sit with all sorts of facts to dispel the fear. The initial commitment is a three year plan, which includes the fee for the domain name, email marketing, a web search presence, an unlimited growth opportunity on the new platform, and a creative designer who saved me many hours of work and shared a new perspective on my business. It triggered my judgment response because it felt out of proportion. After sitting with all of this information, I was able to settle into the fact that the upfront fees offer me a better price in the long run and taking care of it all at once saves the monthly fees to numerous service providers. I am now in a better space to heal the old stories of judgment and worth and embrace the expanded marketing platform…to be seen.

As for frustration, I have come to know that I experience it most deeply when I am forcing something to happen that isn’t meant to be. I am usually not grounded and avoiding what is causing the resistance. In other words, not fully being present with what I am in alignment with. The frustration is the constant reminder that I need to slow down and BREATHE. Once I do that, things tend to fall into place with the fluidity that reminds me that I am making authentic choices that are in alignment with me.

There is such beauty in sadness because it is the whisper to listen to my heart. It is the invitation to pay attention to what I need. When I have moments of my heart feeling ‘heavy’, I take time to check in to discover the root cause of the sadness. Sometimes I’m sad simply because I’m not taking the time to quiet myself and connect within. The sadness may linger a bit after that, but at least I have received the gift of understanding what my heart most needs in that moment. It is also a gift to sit with the sadness instead of trying to ignore it by ‘covering it up’ with food or other avoidance tactics.

It is always worth it to be me.

In every moment.

In every state of being.