“The fear of inadequacy and rejection

can lead us to heal old emotional wounds

and claim their wisdom.”

~Joan Borysenko

 

 

Rejection seems to carry more weight in my experience than inadequacy…at least in the current phase of growth. Hearing words that attack who I am is quite a challenge. The feeling of being unacceptable is humbling, pain-filled and disarming. To sit with these feelings and with the words is uncomfortable at best. Stepping into the healing takes courage, strength and plenty of self-love.

 

The shock and sting of rejection requires being with the sadness and pain; allowing the tears to flow and move through. The key is not to wallow in the event, but to unpack it. I could continue to be upset with those who spoke the words or I could silently offer them love and awareness for their own journey. Treating others coldly for their words is no different than the feeling of rejection I experienced. What type of healing does that offer? It only perpetuates the wounding, allowing it to grow and become more and more fear-based. No, thank you.

 

I have been blessed with a wake-up call in regards to the attachment I still carry around being received by those close to me. Although it makes sense to want to be accepted by those close to me, it isn’t healthy to allow them to control my perception of who I am. Any attachment to the perception of others is a recipe for sliding down the slippery slope of self-judgment, fear, rejection, self-worth and everything else that leads away from self-love.

 

However, this wake-up call has brought some of its own challenges beyond the awareness of attachment. It has opened a whole new avenue of exploration as to how to work through this. Who do I trust to talk through this? Who will hear me without adding judgment on the other person? Who will hear me without adding more of my personal shortcomings to the list? Who will bear witness to the full scope of this-the raw, vulnerable emotions balanced with the desire to unpack and learn? Who will accept the fullness of the emotions I am experiencing without backing away out of fear? Who will have the courage to love me through the experience?  Who will be able to honor the sacredness of the pain without correcting me? Who will be able to allow me to be me without telling me that it will never be understood by someone else? Who will help me see the parallels in the struggle so I can be more gentle to myself and the other?

 

There is only one “person” who can offer all of this to me and more. Spirit. God. Goddess. Divine. Allah. Universe. (Plug in the name that resonates most deeply within you.) The most beautiful aspect of unpacking the rejection is accepting the invitation to build an even stronger relationship to All That Is; gaining an even deeper appreciation for the eternal love and acceptance from Spirit. It is no coincidence that I started reading All Will Be Well, a book from the series 30 days with a Great Spiritual Master, this one with Julian of Norwich. It is stirring a deeper desire within to more fully accept the presence of God in all that I do. It is having a very profound impact on me. To add to the mystery of the Universe, I also started reading a collection of poems by Jeff Brown in a book called Spiritual Graffiti. I purchased it a while ago, but as divine timing works, I was meant to start reading it now. I spend my morning ‘connection’ time journaling, reading the morning excerpt from All Will Be Well, journaling as needed to process the juicy nuggets and then reading a poem from Spiritual Graffiti, again, journaling as needed. This is one resolution I passionately intend on maintaining. The poem from Brown’s book this morning included:

“We are here to show each other God. The portal is each other.”

If God is Love, then we need to show each other love. As I did a ritual smudge (or clearing) on January 1st, part of my intention was to invite Love to be the guide in our home and in our lives.

 

I invite you to let Love be the guide in your life, too. Imagine how profound and impactful that could be…